Who are you people?

I just checked my web stats. I am suprised, amazed, no flabergasted, that anyone actually reads my blog, besides me, of course. No one ever leaves a comment. Except Leahpeah

My stats page shows that there have been 16,607 “successful requests” for pages on my website. Of course I realize that some of this is just anonymous web spiders and such crawling through, but there have to have been a few actual people besides me here.

I have to wonder, of course, how it is that strangers find my blog. So, as a good internet marketing genius (or so I like to tell my boss) I check the keyword phrases that folks used to find akaJeSais. I’ll do this like David Letterman‘s Top Ten List Drum roll please….

10. exotic scent poetry -erotic
For those of you who are not google-savvy, that means someone was looking for a website with exotic scent poetry, where the word erotic was NOT there (hence the ‘-” sign). My page not only comes up on the first set of results, it is listed at number 8. Is this a new genre that I didn’t know about? is there exotic taste poetry too?

9. my dreamboard
Page one. Site number 3. It ranks above dreamboard.co.uk, people in the BUSINESS of selling CDs on how to create a dreamboard. They should hire me!

8. how to get a tiny waist
I am somewhere beyond page 9 of the search results on google. I gave up looking for my listing. If you did not give up, and found my site while looking for health and fitness tips, you are in the wrong site. Click your back button now. Return to Google, or Yahoo! or MSN search and keep looking.

7. candace toft
Nice that folks are looking for her. She is a terrific writer, and a great teacher. I have mentioned here a couple of times. You’ll find the link listed on page two of the google search results.

6. grant pecoff
I wrote an article for the Del Mar Times about Grant. He used to show at the 101 Artists’ Colony in Encinitas, then moved on to open up his own gallery, and I believe he is off painting the world now. Nice guy, talented artist, you’ll find the link to the article on page 3 of the search results.

5. mediterranean sun poems
Lord only knows how someone found my site with a search query like that. I logged 48 clicks myself through google results before giving up. I did take a little side trip to read about The Myth of the Mediterranean Sperm (I didn’t know there was such a thing). And yes, I was a little more tenacious than in my search for how to get a tiny waist; Mediterranean sun does sound nice, but California sun is fine with me.

4. tiny waist
Again with the tiny waist. Not on my site.

3. stacie doll
Page two. A testament to my recently renewed fascination with Barbie and her cohorts.

2. her tiny waist
Again! Is this a hint? I have just one thing to say to you people looking for a tiny waist… LOOK ELSEWHERE!

1. pert boobs
Yup, that’s right. Pert boobs. Number one search query to find my site. I am sure anyone who clicks on the link to my site after searching for “pert boobs” will be disappointed on SO many levels. First of all, my site doesn’t come up until page 6. Although with this entry, repeating “pert boobs,” so many times I’ll probably climb right up the google ranks.

I have to wonder what compels a person to first search for pert boobs on the internet, then slog through 5 pages of search results, scroll down to the bottom of page 6 to click on

akaJeSais: December 2005
The skinny bitch with her perfectly pert boobs, and her teeny tiny waist….

And discover I’m talking about Barbie. There are no pictures of nubile nudies, and NO PERT BOOBS on this website. Anywhere. I myself am disappointed. I do not have pert boobs, never had them– well maybe when I was 12.

Bottom line is, I am perplexed by you. All of you blog readers out there reading anonymously, lurking, searching for pert boobs and tiny waists…

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4 thoughts on “Who are you people?

  1. I’m reminded of the line from The Big Chill “I’ll come, and I’ll bring a date!”Leah comes over, and I’m her date. :-)Rock on with yer “tiny waists” and “pert boobs”!

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  2. i like grant pecoff’s work. i went to one of his shows and am on his email list. i get interesting updates from his travels. the best seach terms for my site right now: puking, muppets, licking and rolling eyes. awes.

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  3. I found your blog through San Diego Bloggers. I had a visit on my blog from the CIA a few days ago, someone searching for “bureaucracy”… go figure.How does pert differ from perky? Pert plus?How do you guys figure out the top searches, what are you using for stats? Sitemeter?Kirk

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  4. “perky” is lively or vigorous according to my Random House dictionary. “pert” bold, jaunty, saucy and stylish… whatever that means!Stats I get through GoDaddy, where I host my site.thanks for stopping by! Glad you weren’t looking for pert boobs!

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