So yesterday, I spent the day shopping. Not for a to-be-mailed-late gift for my dad, but a dress for his funeral. There’s intense irony there that I’m not sure how to articulate.
Finding a proper dress for a funeral is really hard. There are so many things to consider.
First, of course, it must be black… or dark gray or some somber color, for a somber occassion.
Second, it should be somewhat sedate… nothing too low cut, nothing too bling. It’s a funeral, not a night out on the town.
Third, it should fit. This is the hard part for me. Short, round, if it fits over my butt, it’s way too big across the top and always too long rendering me into a frumpy mass of WHATEVER.
So Marshalls had nothing, I did pick up a fabulous pair of shoes however.
Ross– nothing– so I had to go to The Mall. I never go to The Mall. I hate The Mall. Everything is so expensive. And usually ugly, thus making the entire experience completely dreadful. I didn’t want to spend a lot of money on this dress anyway, figuring I would probably never wear it again.
I still remember the dress I wore to my mother’s funeral. I was 13. My dress was blue (back then it was hard to find a black dress for a child). It was a nice dress, and it hung in my closet after that. Same with the chocolate brown silk top I wore to my grandma’s funeral. And the blue dress shirt I wore to my granddad’s funeral. I expect the same fate for whatever new item I purchased for this funeral, to be relegated to the back of the closet, buried there forever.
I parked at Sears. I always park there, mostly because it’s the only way I’m sure to remember where I parked. I think my grandma used to park there. Besides, I thought maybe, just maybe, I could find an inexpensive black dress there.
I did find one completely shapeless floor length dress, which if I had a good tailor just might work…. So I headed over to Robinsons-May. Which no longer exists, proving just how long its been since I went to The Mall so I ended up at Macy’s. I couldn’t even find the Women’s Dresses there. Sure, they had some cute tiny little dresses in the Junior department, and some oh-so-trendy dresses in the designer sections, but no basic, boring dresses, the kind you wear to work in grey cubicles, or to go to funerals. The “Special Occassion” dress section doesn’t include funeral attire.
As a last resort, I went to Nordstroms. I knew I should have gone there first even though I knew it was gonna cost me a lot more than Marshalls would have. Suprisingly, there was not a huge number of dresses to choose from, however, there was one, the right one. It’s a basic black and white print dress, right at the knee, so not too short, not too long. Its vee neck line is flattering, and the basic black insert makes it sedate. The print looks a little Diane Von Furstenburg but without the sticker shock. Only 78 dollars. Ouch.
My roommate says its a nice dress that I’ll wear it again. I doubt it, but we’ll see. At least I’ll look nice for the funeral.