Not sure if it’s the whole Dia de los Muertos thing, or more overwhelm from dealing with my Dad’s estate, feeling like I am totally alone in the world now– no parents to watch over me, no kids to distract me– like I’m the end of the line. Or the middle, floating with nothing to hang onto.
To top it of my boss’s mom just had a stroke, so I’m here listening to him talk on the phone.
“It’s ok Mom, Laurie and I are taking care of everything. You don’t have to worry about a thing.”
And she is comforted. And it strikes me. Who is going to take care of me when I get old and dotty?
So I think about this quote from the movie “American Beauty.” The character Lester says in voice over:
Remember those posters that said, “Today
is the first day of the rest of your
life?” Well, that’s true of every day
The day you die.
It sounds good, makes an impact and all but it is not true. Even the day you die is the first day of the rest of your life. The rest of your life is just very very short.
All this thinking makes me jittery, like I need to get out and do something crazy, move to Alaska or cash out my savings and to hell with sticking around here and hoping the real estate market bubble will burst enough so I can afford to buy a house.
And just in case you’re curious, Merriam Webster Online defines maudlin as:
1 : drunk enough to be emotionally silly
2 : weakly and effusively sentimental
Etymology: alteration of Mary Magdalene; from her depiction as a weeping penitent
Yup, maudlin is a good word. Especially for Dia De Los Muertos.