But wait, there’s more

If bad things come in threes I’m in trouble.
I’m bummed because my plans to have FUN this evening were cancelled.
and so I worked late, great talk with my boss, brainstorming, planning, shooting the breeze, finishing up some stuff…
and then my roommate called.
Alex, my cat, has another Urinary Tract Infection. It’s bad. She’s bleeding a lot.
So I fly home as fast as my little turbo-charged beetle can take me, to take care of my cat. It’s bad.
Her little kitty bed (lined with newspaper) is red with blood. Bloody urine.
and her little kitty but is drenched in urine soaked blood.
I gave her an antibioitic I have left over from the last UTI.
Then I called the vet.
I really don’t want to take her in.
It’s traumatic for everyone.
And Expensive.
And I’m broke.
and all this reminds me what a Bad Kitty Mommy I am.
She’s 14 years old.
And costing me a fortune.
I’ve renamed her “Down Payment.”
And I don’t want to put her down.
Because I’m not sure I can do it.
How do you know when the time is right?
Every 3 or 4 months we go through this bloody but thing.
And she can’t walk very well.
But she still loves me.
And she still likes to play with the newspaper, especially on Sunday Mornings when we play hide the kitty in the paper.
And she purrs.
And she has her box that she stays in most of the time.
And when there’s dinner involved she can get to the kitchen in record time, even if she is dragging her hind legs behind her.
So is it time?
And how can I force her into the cat carrier and take her to the vet where she hates everyone and will hiss and growl and try to bite and then they will kill her?
shit shit shit shit shit.
Probably a good thing my plans got cancelled ’cause I am NOT good company right now. But still, it sucks having to do all this shit alone.